Break Even
by kiwanisgirl
Summary: Remus' chest began to clench again, it was a horrible feeling. He could feel tears leak from his eyes again and he braced his hands against the counter, head hanging.


_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
>Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in<br>'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
>'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven<em>

__

_Her best days will be some of my worst  
>She finally met a man that's gonna put her first<br>While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
>'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no<em>

__

_What am I supposed to do  
>When the best part of me was always you and<br>What am I supposed to say  
>When I'm all choked up and you're okay<em>

__

_I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
>I'm falling to pieces<em>

__

_They say bad things happen for a reason  
>But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding<br>'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
>And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no<em>

__

_What am I gonna do  
>When the best part of me was always you<br>And what am I supposed to say  
>When I'm all choked up and you're okay<br>_

_I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
>I'm falling to pieces, yeah<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)<em>

_I'm falling to pieces  
>('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)<em>

__

_You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
>You took your suitcase, I took the blame<br>Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh  
>'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name<em>

__

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
>Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in<br>'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
>'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break<br>No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no_

__

_What am I gonna do  
>When the best part of me was always you<br>And what am I supposed to say  
>When I'm all choked up and you're okay<em>

__

_I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
>I'm falling to pieces, yeah<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)<em>

__

_Oh, it don't breakeven, no  
>Oh, it don't breakeven, no<br>Oh, it don't breakeven, no_

He couldn't breathe, oh Merlin, his chest felt so _unbelievably _tight. There was a strange ringing in his ears and he could see spots blinking before his eyes. He heard a slam and somewhere nearby a picture frame fell from the wall.

Merlin please, he begged, please bring her back to me… I swear I'll never yell at her again. It was just a misunderstanding. A terrible, awful misunderstanding.

Remus gasped from his place on the floor, he really had no idea when he had ended up there. Perhaps it was after the glass shattered on the wall near his head, but he couldn't be sure. There was only one thing that he knew for certain; she was gone.

His vision was going fuzzy again, he realized, the more he thought about what had happened. It came as no surprise when his body slumped over and he lost all conscience.

%

Remus blinked quickly, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. Where in bloody hell was he? Standing, his head spun and he groaned as last night events flooded though his mind.

_Tonks._

She had stormed into his room at Sleepy Hollow demanding answers, or just looking for blood. Of course, she wasn't expecting him to be in a towel, hair wet and sexy, standing beside the damn maid. She didn't even ask what happened, coming to her own crazy conclusion. After deciding the worst, she proceeded to hex the young maid, scream profanities at her husband, and throw a glass towards his head. Breasts heaving, hair wild, and stomach protruding, she stormed out of the motel room, slamming the door behind her and causing a painting of a unicorn to crash against the floor.

Remus could feel the tears flow down his cheeks at breakneck speed, not bothering to try and stop them. He rolled over and braced his hands against the floor, pushing himself off of the floor to his feet. The room looked terrible – a broken frame on the floor, glass from a vase shattered across the ground, his belongings strewn everywhere. Pathetic.

Shaking his head, Remus walked into the small bathroom and grimaced when he saw his appearance. The towel just barely clung to his hips and showed off old scars that ran up his stomach. His eyes were bloodshot, red and swollen – it looked as if he had been awake for several days. His hair stuck at odd angles from when he fell asleep with it wet. Overall, it was probably the worst he had looked in a _very _long time.

Remus' chest began to clench again, it was a horrible feeling. He could feel tears leak from his eyes again and he braced his hands against the counter, head hanging.

Nymphadora Lupin meant the world to him, he never thought he'd be capable of emotions as strong as these for someone, anyone. Tonks. His lover, his wife, the mother of his unborn child. His unborn child. He was going to be a father. He, Remus John Lupin, a father!

Suddenly he knew exactly what he needed to do. He had to go to her and explain that she got it _all wrong. _She hadn't stuck around long enough for him to tell her that he had just gotten out of the shower when he realized the maid was doing her daily cleaning job. There was nothing there – there was never going to be anything there!

Remus pushed himself away from the counter, searching for a pair of jeans and his old trainers. The woman was mad, Remus decided. Completely around the bend, but he loved her so bloody much and Merlin help him – he almost lost her once and he wasn't going to do it again.


End file.
